Day 17.

It had nearly been a week since I’d given Thi that book. I hadn’t gone back. Everytime I thought about going back to see her, I would think of Kon. He was so desperate to keep me away, so angry that I had done research on the place.

I wanted to see Thi.

I didn’t want to see him.

So I was staying away. For now.
In the meantime, my mom starting hinting heavily that I needed a job. My dad outright told me I did. He said I was starting to depress my mother, which adversely effected him. I made sure he stopped there.

It was sometime in th eafternoon when I stopped by Emilie’s house. She wasn’t working till the dinner shift, so we’d planned to get together and hover over the classifieds in the paper, searching for a job that specifically suited my particular talents.

“Dish washing at Fred and Sharon’s Diner,” Emilie said with a malicious grin, showing me her copy and pointing to the ad.

I didn’t dignify it with a response.

She put the paper back down on the table, grabbed her pen, and circled the ad anyhow.

“I’ll mark it anyway.”

“Thanks Em.”

“Everyone’s gotta start somewhere.”

“I’ve done my service in the food industry. Besides, we don’t all wanna be like you when we grow up,” I said, surpressing a grin.

That got me a playful slug on the arm.

We searched in silence for a few more minutes when Emilie said,

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I met a friend of your’s at work yesterday.”

I stopped halfway through circling a dog sitting job. I liked dogs.

“Who?”

“Said her name was reese.”

I shook my head. “Don’t know a Reese.”

“Hmm... maybe I got the name wrong. She definitely knew you. Described you to a T.” Em shrugged, finishing a doodle she was doing around the dishwasher adj.

I sat for a while thinking. Reese... it sounded a little familiar but... I didn’t know anyone with that name.

“You said it was a girl?” I asked.

“Woman.”

“What’d she look like?”

Em stuck the end of her pen in her mouth, stared into nothing as she answered,

“Well... she was pretty. Real long, darkish hari, slim, but you know, not scerawny. Pretty chesty,” this was added with a jealous look, as Em was pretty flat. “one of those people who act like they own everything, and pretend they’re being nice but end up sounding more patronizing.” Em hesitated, remembering that this woman was supposed to be a friend of mine.

I shook my head. But she seemed determined to figure this mystery out.

“Said she knew you through a mutual friend. What was his name... Something weird and oldish. Oh. Konstantine is what is was.”

I straightened up with a furrowed brow. I felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. Reese. She was that woman who was sucking face with Kon a week ago.

“What did she want?” I asked, putting down my pen.

“Just said to say hi is all,” Em replied. “So you do know her?”

Well this would open up a whole new avenue I didn’t want to go down. I just shrugged, tried to sound as uninterested as possible, which was difficult since I’d shown clear signs of being supremely freaked out just a second ago. “Not really.”

“Oh... Well she seemed nice enough I guess.” That was Emilie feeling bad that she’d essentially insulted the woman a moment before, and trying to make it up to her in her own mind. She always did stuff like that. Really empathic, my big sis.

I left maybe an hour or so later, after watching some soap operas and doing our best to mock them. Em had to go to work, I had to keep looking for work.

But what I really wanted to know? Why that woman was asking about me, and how she knew my name. I mean, we’d really only had a brief glance of one another. Had Konstantine talked to her about me? Was she any sort of threat to me?

I shook my head, feeling like a complete dolt. I mean, this wasn’t some sort of video game, or war zone. I didn’t have to diagnose friend or foe upon meeting.

It just seemed like a lot of the new people (or whatevers) I’d been coming into contact with meant to do me harm. At least some of the time.

I headed into town to see if any more shops were open to inquire about work. See, this is how I do things. When I get something in my head I go at it. I get obsessed about it and don’t give up until I’ve either solved it, satiated myself, or at very least become bored with it.

After another half hour of no success, I went to one of the local coffee shops. The one that wasn’t a chain. Chain coffee was okay, but this place, this place had the real deal.

I ordered, sat down, pulled out my journal, a fresh cup of vanilla latte by my side. I had just touched pen to paper when I heard a chair slide across the floor, the rush of air as someone sat heavily on that chair. At my small little table. I looked up. I almost gagged.

Kon’s lady, the one who knew me well enough to know my sister, was sitting across from me. She had some sort of grin on her face. I couldn’t tell if it was malicious, amused, or a little sultry.

“This place must be good, all the locals seem to flock here,” she said. Her voice was just as my sister had described it. That air of arrogance was almost unbearable. And strangely alluring. I sort of smiled back, one of those smiles you give when you want someone to go away. I drew my eyes back to my paper. She didn’t leave.

“Don’t pretend you don’t recognize me. You were showing quite an interest yesterday. Did your sister pass on my message, by the way? She’s cute. A little homely and plain, but, you know, cute.”

“You must have me confused with–” I began without looking up. She slapped her hand onto my paper, stopping me mid word both in tongue and hand.

“Your a horrible liar, kid. Now, I don’t believe we were properly introduced back in the woods.” She raised her hand to shake, I still didn’t look up. “Come on, doll, you’ve got to observe the niceties. I hear you country folk are all about that,” she said as she raised my chin up with her hand. I pulled back, but she grabbed my hand as I did, shook it.

“My name’s Reese. Nice to meet you.”

I sort of stared at her for a moment. She was sitting backwards in the chair, with the back of it pressed against her chest. She didn’t seem to be wearing any makeup, and now that I saw her closer her face wasn’t as smooth as I had thought before. She had high, pronounced cheekbones that suited her. Her hair was tremendously thick. Jess had pretty thick hair, and was always saying what a pain it was because of how heavy it was. I was amazed this woman’s neck hadn’t snapped back already.

“Staring isn’t nice, flattering though it may be,” she said. “And you forgot to introduce yourself.” She still hadn’t let go of my hand. She squeezed tighter. I tried to pull it away. Her firm seemed as iron as Konstantine’s had, if not more. Tighter. The ring on my fourth finger bit into my other fingers, and I couldn’t stop the breath of pain that escaped my mouth. She pulled my hand forward, forcing me to lean over the table.

“Your name, kid.”

“B- b- benjamin F- faires,” I said at last, a little gaspy. She smiled, let go. She knew my name. What the hell kind of game was she at?

“Relax, Ben, we’re all friends here.” She stood, spun her chair around, sat back down, ending up slightly closer to me than she had been before.

“It’s Benjamin,” I said, stiff, not making eye contact.

“What?”

“My name’s Benjamin.”

She laughed. “Don’t be so uptight. So word is you’ve shown a bit of interest in that old church. You’re either pretty brave or pretty stupid. Isn’t that what they say in those books and movies you people have? Full of clichés and lines of the sort to serve with wine, I don’t bother with either.” She leaned back in her chair, grabbed my coffee and took a drink herself. “Movies are mindless imitations and books, well, they’re just too damn full of themselves, aren’t they?” She shrugged, took another drink of my latte, set it down. She looked me over, first my almost empty page in my notebook, up my arm, my face, and I was glad the table was in the way because her eyes were headed down.

I suddenly felt a sharp pang for Konstantine for some unknown reason, and hated her instantly much more than I had him.

Finally she sort of made a thoughtful noise, brought her attention back to my face.

“You’re not at all what I would have thought,” she said. “For one, I thought you’d be at least a little more attractive. You’re kind of short and weak looking.” She pointed near the top of my head and said, “You do have a widow’s peak like Konstantine, but it just makes you look nerdy.”

“What do you want?” I said darkly. What kind of person says stuff like that in conversation? I would have expected it from Lea, but... honestly.

“But I guess a man’s real attraction is beyond just looks. Your ears are big, too. And those glasses... honey, try a thinner frame. Maybe a nice rectangular wireframe. Make you look like an engineer.” She sort of smiled at that. “Engineer’s aren’t so bad. Their drafting tables come in handy sometimes.”

I stood up, grabbed my notebook. “You can finish that,” I said, motioning towards the latte and turned to go. I would be lying if I said her grip on my upper arm didn’t chill me in a way I couldn’t explain. She’d grabbed my left arm with her own, and now stood behind me, her right hand on my right shoulder, her lips hovering by my ear.

“Let’s have a chat, okay? Somewhere more private. I think the locals have bad taste in coffee.”

I was reminded by my most recent experience with Kon as she led me out, her fingernails digging into my arm.

As we left the shop, I was wondering what the hell I was doing. Letting this woman take me wherever she pleased. Whoever she was. I could just make a break for it.

“Your sister lives around here, doesn’t she? Yeah, 517 East Byron, right? She’ll be coming home late from work. Don’t you worry about her safety? Some crazy stranger could just come up to her and,” she drew her nail from her right hand across my throat. I got her point. I didn’t try to get away.

We crossed the street to the quad in front of the courthouse. The streetlights were starting to buzz and they flickered with a green light which was still overcome by the steadily weakening sun. She led me towards one of the hexagonal shaped wooden benches which encircled a small tree. It was near the edge of the quad. She sat down, pulled me down next to her on her right.

“Alright then, kid. Let’s get something straight. I don’t give a rat’s ass that get your kicks by getting the shit beat out of you by Konstantine. See, my care’s with him, you must have noticed. Ever since he got that job at the church–”

“Job?”

“He hasn’t spent any amount of time with me. I’m a jealous sort of girl, and he won’t own up to anything. So tell me. What’s there that keeps him so entranced?”

What job was she talking about? And she’d mentioned Konstantine, but she hadn’t mentioned Thi. Didn’t she know about her?

“I mean, its got to be damn good for him to ignore me,” Reese said, crossing her left leg over her right. Her foot brushed my shin. She didn’t seem to notice. She was staring forward somewhere. “We used to have a lot of fun.” She looked back at me. “Well?”

“I wouldn’t know.” I started to stand up, she pulled me back down.

“I’m on paid leave, kid, I’ve got plenty of time. Konstantine won’t own up to me, and he sure as hell won’t let me near that church. So what’s he hiding? He got himself a little whore?”

“Shut up!” I jumped to my feet, some knightly sense of chivalry boiling inside of me. She may not have known about Thi, but I didn’t like what she was implying. She tried to pull me down again, I resisted.

I don’t know how she moved so fast. One second I was standing, tugging against her grip, the next I was being pinned to the ground by her. My chest rose and fell quickly, shallow, ineffective breaths making my chest sting.

“Well someone is a little sensative,” she said quietly with another one of those smiles. She was stradling my waist, and when I realized that, I began to flush again. She laughed.

“Does our prediciment make you a little nervous, honey?” she asked. “You certainly didn’t get the proper schooling at college, did you? You know how to tell how resiliant a man is? I think torture has its place, but I think a woman can crack a man much faster than a metal utensil.” She leaned forward, her lips lingering just above my neck. Her breath was hot, I could feel her lips just barely touching my skin. My breathing grew quicker. I wouldn’t have guessed it could.

I was horrified by her shameless prostitution, I wanted to shove her off, get up and run. But... I couldn’t move. And I realized she wasn’t pinning me down anymore. Something in me was keeping me there as her lips touched my neck, as they moved to the corner of my mouth.

When her lips actually touched me, every ounce of filthy desire I had felt vanished, and I was as repusled as the princess who kissed the frog. Though... I didn’t much care for either way that analogy would have been applied to me.

My whole body jerked, and I managed to push her off and scramble to my feet. She slowly stood, laughing. Just... laughing.

“Don’t worry, honey, you’re not my type.”

And then she left. She didn’t look back, she didn’t say anything more, she just left. I watched her go, feeling much more shaken than I had the first time Konstantine had hit me.



The songs are very loud today. Konstantine is not here. I have not seen him in a few days. I have not seen Benjamin in a longer time. It is lonely here. Sometimes I think I hear someone over the songs, and then I get scared because I don’t know if it would be Konstantine, Benjamin, or them. They’ve been here before. I don’t want them to come back. I don’t want to go to sleep.

The songs are so loud. I know them very well. Sometimes if I sing with them, they aren’t so loud. But I tried that already, and they just echo more and more. There are two now, they are going at the same time.

When peace like my vision o lord of my sorrow like sea billows Thought by day or by night thou hast taught me to presence my light with my soul. Wisdom and Thou my true well with my soul and Thou with me Satan should buffet though I Thy true son, blest assurance control That me dwelling and I blood for my soul.

I don’t know which is which, the melodys the harmonys the words and the soul all combine into one strain of thought, twisting like the nether.

I don’t want to write anymore.