Day 20.

“Couldn’t they just put her to sleep and come on in?”

Kon shook his head. “It’s not just a magic word, its a ceremony. A process. We would know long before it ever happened.”

I had more doubts and confusions than questions right now. In fact my brain felt a little fried. This sat normally on the pew in front of me, though slightly to the side. Everyone just sort of stared into their laps for a while. And the longer we sat there, the more I began to feel that this was absolutely normal. There was nothing peculiar about houses being alive and Sandmen being the villains. Maybe it was just that after the things I’d experienced, any sort of answer would have sufficed.

I don’t remember Thi standing up. I don’t remember her walking down the isle to the piano. I just remember being started from my contemplations by a gentle chord progression. She began to sing. To say she had a beautiful voice would have been an overstatement. Her voice was so innocent and young, that it could only have been described as sweet. That calming smile you get when you hear a kid singing a song, no matter how they sang it.

“When peace like a river attendeth my soul,
when sorrows like sea billows roll.

Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well... with my soul... It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet,

Though trials should come,

Let this blessed assurance control,

That Christ hast regarded my helpless estate,

And hath shed his own blood for my soul.

It is well... with my soul... it is well, it is well with my soul.

And Lord haste the day when my fate shall be sight,

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll.

The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well... with my soul... it is well, it is well with my soul.”

The final word and chord echoed with such serene beauty as both voice and piano ceased. There was a power in her voice. I couldn’t move.

That was the second hymn she had played since I had come here this evening. It made sense; she was a cathedral. Hymns were what she heard all the time. She would have access to hymnal upon hymnal, building off the memories of what worship was conducted within her walls.

“Kon... you have to go. Something must be done about them.” Her little voice barely reached to the back of the church. She turned around on the bench. “If its even possible... if there is a rogue Sandmen...”

Kon immediately nodded and stood. “Thi, you need to get out of your corporeal form, just in case they come back.” He turned towards the door. I stood up.

“What about me?” I asked. He looked back.

“I... I don’t have a damn idea kid.”

“Can’t he stay here?” Thi was walking back to us.

“He could... It would probably be safest.” Then he left. I turned to Thi.

“I’m sorry...” she said, head hung. “I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble.”
“I... I mean, it’s... its fine,” I murmered. I saw her downcast eyes sparkling with moisture. She was crying, or on the verge of it. “Thi? Are you okay?”

She took a shuddering breath, sniffed, seemed to be desperately fighting back tears. “I’m scared...” she said.

Day 19.

Sssssss sssssss ssssss, it kept going. I glanced at it through the corners of my eyes. I raised my eyes to the little window in front of me. I saw my face staring back at me, starkly contrasted with sharp shadows and the yellow glow of the incandescant light above and behind me. But the other pair of eyes were not mine.
I jumped, then froze. Maybe it was a trick of the eye. I stared at what I thought were eyes, but it wasn’t outside. The eyes were a reflection. Behind me.
I spun around. Nothing was there. I was terrified to turn around again in case I saw those eyes. But that was ridiculous. There was nothing here.
I started to belief that reason didn’t have much to do with the current chapter in my life.
You know when you’re watching those old horror movies, and you are watching the hero be a complete idiot, and you’re telling him, don’t open that door! Turn around, he’s right behind you! Don’t go into that dark room alone, you freaking idiot! It was kind of like that, but I wasn’t quite sure what the much wiser audience would have me do. They, surely, would already know whether there was or was not something standing behind me, even though I could see nothing. They’d know if the reflection was still there, like some freaked out inverted vampire kind of thing.
I turned around.
I saw the face behind me for just a moment before it lunged forward. If face you want to call it. I didn’t know what it was. I yelled, throwing myself sideways, falling, scrambling to my feet. I flattened myself against the door, scanning the kitchen furiously with my blind eyes. I faced to door to see the reflections in the glass near the top. I saw something flash across the limited frame I had, from one side to the other, and out of my vision. I ripped the door open, slammed it shut. I jammed my feet into a pair of Vans in the porch, grabbed the porch door when something grabbed me.
That same invisible pressure was encasing my arm. I wrenched myself away as I tore the porch door open, and I ran. I don’t think I’d ever run so fast in my life. I could still hear the hiss of the kettle behind me, but the sound was different. Like... a hiss coming from the back of your throat. Deep and gutteral at times, nasally and shallow at others.
I thought my legs were going to burst. I pushed every muscle to its edge to make large strides faster. It felt like a strong wind was pummelling at my back, but the trees were silent and still.
I didn’t see the pothole until my foot fell into it, expecting level ground, finding uneven. I flew face down with a heavy thud, the “wind” passing over me. I scrambled up, ran forward, something wrapped around my middle, my arms snapping to my side. I squirmed and twisted fiercely, the hissing was hot and damp on my face.
“BENJAMIN!”
The hissing stopped, I looked towards the voice. It came from the church ahead. I didn’t know I close I had been to the clearing. The voice was Thi, but it was Kon that was running towards me.
“You don’t have authority there!” He yelled, motioning fiercly towards me. “He is not yours!”
The pressure around me released, I collapsed on legs too weak to hold me up, and silence descended upon me again. I knelt there, listening to the blood rushing through my brain. Kon knelt by me, put his hands on my shoulders.
“Faires, are you okay?”
I didn’t say anything. I was too busy trying to breath. He grabbed an arm, wrapped it around his neck, lifted me up. I was quite a bit shorter than he, so he had to bend down as he helped me towards the church. For a man who didn’t want me there, he sure had to bring me there enough.
But this time was going to be different. I needed to know. I
Kon looked furious and scared, something I was getting used to seeing in his face. But this time, the fury was not directed at me.
He didn’t say anything until he got me in the church and sitting on the nearest pew. He’d barely got me there when he turned away and said,
“Tell me what happened.”
I didn’t much feel like disobeying.
“Couldn’t sleep, and something made me collapse in my room. I went downstairs and... the tea kettle was going but the heat wasn’t on. It burned me, I saw someone in the window and... I don’t remember, it happened really fast. Chased me here, I fell, and...”
“Your house? At your house again?” Kon looked back at me. I nodded.
“Shit... shit shit shit.” This seemed to be a favorite expression for him. “They’re not allowed to... shit.”
“Where’s Thi?” I had meant to say who is they, but it came out... a little more different. Kon started, his head sort of jerked.
“She’s, eh... not here.”
The piano started playing. Both of us started, looking at the front of the church where the old upright was shoved in a corner. No one sat in front of it. Delicate notes gently sang a melody. It took me a moment to recognize it. It was a hymn, “What a Friend we have in Jesus.”
Kon sighed. “Ignore it.”
“The... the piano–” I began, pointing forwards.
“Yeah, I know. Ignore it.”
“But–”
Then I heard it, like a whisper in my mind. It wasn’t male or female, young or old. It was just... a whisper that wasn’t.
‘Are they gone?’
“Did you–” I began, but was cut off by Kon groaning.
“Please just don’t... just stay, alright?” He hissed. I could see he wished I hadn’t heard him. I decided he wasn’t talking to me. The hymn still gently played.
‘Are they gone? They are gone, right?’
Kon looked at me like I was an exam he hadn’t studied for, then finally said,
“Fine.”
The building started to hum. The hymn grew softer. I realized the humming was a melody, like a vibration somehow creating a tune. I heard a an intake of breath, slow and painful, coming from all around me. A soft mouselike sound, like a child in pain but trying to be brave. Dust stirred in the isles. I could see faint imprints of feet in the dust, coming steadily closer, little clouds of dust boiling around each print as it was created. I don’t know how it happened, but without my really noticing, one of those little clouds had spread so slowly and evenly upwards into a form that it was like a frog in a pot of cool water which you slowly heat. Its dead before it notices its getting hot.
Standing before me was a pale, nude figure. Standing before me was Thi.
I knew I should look away. She was naked. But I couldn’t stop staring at her face. A face that had materialized before me without my really noticing.
I also hadn’t noticed that Kon had slipped into one of the pews, grabbed something, and was now holding a large white man’s dress shirt like she normally wore. She smiled sweetly at him, slipped it on, buttoned slowly. It was long enough to cover her.
“Don’t get yourself hot, pervert,” Kon growled darkly, staring at one of the stained glass windows. He looked really annoyed at me.
“I wasn’t... I mean, I just... you just...” I stammered. I found the strength to stand, and I looked directly at Kon, who had been avoiding everyone’s eye contact. “What the HELL is going on!? What was that thing? And what... what is SHE?”
“Come on, have a little decency,” Kon said, straightening up as if coming to the defense of the girl who had just materialized in front of me. Thi had shrunk back a little at my comment.
“Something tried to freaking kill me out there. I’m a little preoccupied right now, and I want to know what’s going on! I mean... you’re not human!” I said, looking at Thi at the last part of that spaz out. Kon started forward like he wanted to punch me, Thi put her hand out and stopped him. She took a step towards me.
“Benjamin... My name is... well, I’m Cathedral.”
I didn’t react at first, because I was slightly confused.
“Thi for short,” Kon said. He still looked like he wanted to punch me.
“What are you?” I asked again. She bit her lip.
“I’m... I’m Cathedral.” When she said that, she raised her arms and motioned around the building.
“I... I don’t... “ I began, trying to assure myself she meant something entirely different than what I thought she meant.
“She’s the corporeal form of this building’s soul,” Konstantine said, sitting down on the pew across from me.
“Excuse me, what?”
“Corporeal. Physicial–”
“I know what corporeal means. But what the hell are you talking about?” I looked from him to Thi, desperately wanting a simple answer.
Nothing ever happens the way I want it to.
“You shouldn’t know... no one should know. But... they brought you into this–” Kon began, his comments more and more directed towards himself.
Thi sat in the pew in front of mine, leaned over the back.
“You have a soul, Benjamin,” she placed her hand on my chest. “Its what makes you you. It’s your memories, your joys and your sorrows. It’s your motivation, your depression. Its who you are, its who everyone knows. This body is not you. Your soul is seperate.” She removed her hand, put it on her own chest. “This is not my body. It’s... just a memory. A memory of another girl who once lived.” She took my hand, placed it on the back of her pew. “This is my body, but I am the soul inside of it.”
In case no one has ever told you that they are actually a structure, but they are what gives the structure life, because apparently structures are alive, then let me tell you something.
It confuses the hell out of you.
“Every building has a soul,” Kon put in, probably thinking that maybe if he put it more simply it would make more sense.
Konstantine must not know very much about sense.
I was hoping someone would start laughing at me soon. It didn’t seem like it would start happening any time soon.
But I thought I might just go along with this for a second. Because... since things were being crazy recently, might as well add this to everything else.
“So...” I pointed at Thi, “You’re a building. This building,” I added, motioning around me. Then I pointed at Kon, “And you are...”
Kon sighed heavily. “I’m... I’m her... look, its hard to explain.”
“Try.”
“Alright, alright, don’t give me that look. I wouldn’t tell you but... this has gone too far.
“Like I said, buildings all have souls. Most people don’t know because they aren’t allowed to interact with anyone. That’s where the whole ‘haunted house’ concept came from; buildings who don’t follow the rules. Every building has a watcher to make sure they don’t break the rules. I’m... I’m her’s.”
“So... you exist to get her in trouble,” I summarized. Thi dropped her gaze, Kon scowled. “But... who do you answer to?”
“The Sandmen.”
I failed at supressing a snort. “Excuse me?”
“The thing that was trying to kill you? That thing you couldn’t see? They were the Sandmen.”
I had already decided to hide my common sense in my back pocket for the time being, so I chose to just let Kon contnue rather than attempting to make sense of anything.
“So what’s their story?”
Kon hesitated, looked for words. With a name like “Sandmen,” I wondered if he was trying to decide how to best approach the severity of the being without sounding... stupid. I wondered if he knew the significance of the Sandman in our culture. And how very unthreatening he was, weird and slightly creepy though he may be.
Instead of waiting for Kon, Thi began to speak. Her voice was very quiet, very reserved.
“We aren’t supposed to talk to people, or interact with them. If we do, the Sandmen come and put us to sleep.”
“Sleep?” I asked with a raised brow.
“It can be for a few weeks, but sometimes they make us sleep forever.”
“Well... if you’re a building,” I began, pointing to Thi, “Who is clearly interacting with me,” I pointed at myself, “And you’re her watcher,” I pointed at Kon, “Then why aren’t you... asleep?”
Kon tensed, Thi looked at him. “I... she’s always been a problem, they know it. She’s been put to sleep a few times, but–”
“But she’s not just making funny noises, though, you know. She’s talking to me. Isn’t it your job to make sure she doesn’t do that?”
“Its complicated. But moving on. The Sandmen aren’t allowed to take action upon humans. Mortals are outside of their realm of influence. Which is why they sure as hell shouldn’t have been attacking you.”
“But... what kept the... Sandman thing from coming in here to kill me? Why’d it leave when you came?”
“Well... first its Sandmen. They’re not an it, they’re a they. And they can’t enter a buliding that still has an awake soul.”

Day 18.

There was something in the back of my mind that was keeping me from falling into a deeper level of sleep. I was stuck in that quasi awake asleep stage where you think you’re conscious and you know what is going on around you until you sort of jerk and realize that you just woke up.
And since my reality and dream world had sort of merged, I couldn’t really tell which was which. I remember that in one of them I had a horrible weight on my mind. When you have something really foreboding haunting you, like a looming deadline, and though its psychological it crosses the gap between the physical and the metaphysical and you think you can actually feel it.
I was sitting up in my bed, and I was staying very still so I could try to figure out whether I was dreaming or not. I looked around. Everything seemed normal. I looked at the window, which opened out into the expanse of the front yard, the beginnings of the woods to the left, the fields straight ahead. The sky was that orangish colour that it sometimes becomes at night, when you feel it can’t possibly be this bright outside.
I just kept staring out that window. I got out of bed, up to the window. I leaned close; I could feel the slightly chill radiating from it. I breathed on it, white blurred the glass, lingered, slowly faded away. I used to make drawings in the white. It was gone now.
The glass was so clear.
The glass...
The glass?
My window had been broken. There was no glass in it yet. It was boarded up. But I was staring through the glass, I reached up to touch it. When I did, that heavy sense I had felt in my dream or reality flattened me to the ground with its sudden force. The room became darker than it had been before, the heaviness disappeared, I sat up, my arm was shaking. I couldn’t stop it. The window was boarded up. There was no orange sky, no expanse of country side, no light from anywhere.
I just sat there for the longest time, knowing I was finally in reality. Nothing seemed amiss. But something had happened. Something more than just a dream. I wanted to get out of this room. I needed to be somewhere else.
I had a sudden urge to retreat back to my younger years, when I would crawl into bed with my parents, right in the middle. Mom would kiss my forehead and tell me it would be okay, pet my ear for a few minutes until she would fall back to sleep. Dad would scoot to the edge of the bed so we would all fit.
I hadn’t done that since I was seven. There was such a comfort, after making the dash from my room to theirs and not being devoured my monsters, to know I was safe, and that nothing could possibly harm me because I was with my parents. My parents who could protect me from anything.
Sometimes growing up sucks.
After a while, I got to my feet, put on some clothes, headed downstairs. Something didn’t feel right. I was anxious. Anxious like I’d been a week ago. When a weight pressed down on my shoulders.
Kon had said it wouldn’t come back here. He never said what it was. He never said why. No one ever said anything.
My heart began to beat faster. I could only manage to take shallow breaths as I paced the living room, then towards the kitchen.
I thought for a second my dad was up, because I heard the hiss of the tea kettle. Our tea kettle refused to whistle and had decided to give a hiss like its friend the radiator. The lights weren’t on. I stepped onto the cold lynoleum of the kitchen floor. No one was there. The tea kettle sat on our gas stovetop. The burner coils were black and cold. The kettle was hissing, a steady stream of steam racing from its small opening. I stayed by the fridge which was right next to the doorway, staring at that kettle. It just kept hissing without explanation. It started to shake. A little at first, then a steady rattle, as if something was furiously boiling inside. Nothing else seemed out of place.
Just the angry little kettle.
After several minutes of not moving, I slowly approached the stove. My heart, stomach, and pretty much every other internal organ was lodged firmly in my throat. Heat was radiating from the kettle. I reached towards it to grab the insulated handle. The instant my hand touched the rubber handle, a searing pain erupted on my skin where I’d touched it. I pulled back with a curse. Immediately after I’d touched it, the kettle stopped shaking, stopped steaming. But it kept on hissing.
I cradled my stinging hand as I flipped the light switch, which was just behind the fridge. I looked at my palm. It was red.
I tried to ignore the steady ssssssssssssssssssss of the kettle as I turned on a light stream of cold water from the faucet. I put my hand underneath it, a little relief.

Day 17.

It had nearly been a week since I’d given Thi that book. I hadn’t gone back. Everytime I thought about going back to see her, I would think of Kon. He was so desperate to keep me away, so angry that I had done research on the place.

I wanted to see Thi.

I didn’t want to see him.

So I was staying away. For now.
In the meantime, my mom starting hinting heavily that I needed a job. My dad outright told me I did. He said I was starting to depress my mother, which adversely effected him. I made sure he stopped there.

It was sometime in th eafternoon when I stopped by Emilie’s house. She wasn’t working till the dinner shift, so we’d planned to get together and hover over the classifieds in the paper, searching for a job that specifically suited my particular talents.

“Dish washing at Fred and Sharon’s Diner,” Emilie said with a malicious grin, showing me her copy and pointing to the ad.

I didn’t dignify it with a response.

She put the paper back down on the table, grabbed her pen, and circled the ad anyhow.

“I’ll mark it anyway.”

“Thanks Em.”

“Everyone’s gotta start somewhere.”

“I’ve done my service in the food industry. Besides, we don’t all wanna be like you when we grow up,” I said, surpressing a grin.

That got me a playful slug on the arm.

We searched in silence for a few more minutes when Emilie said,

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I met a friend of your’s at work yesterday.”

I stopped halfway through circling a dog sitting job. I liked dogs.

“Who?”

“Said her name was reese.”

I shook my head. “Don’t know a Reese.”

“Hmm... maybe I got the name wrong. She definitely knew you. Described you to a T.” Em shrugged, finishing a doodle she was doing around the dishwasher adj.

I sat for a while thinking. Reese... it sounded a little familiar but... I didn’t know anyone with that name.

“You said it was a girl?” I asked.

“Woman.”

“What’d she look like?”

Em stuck the end of her pen in her mouth, stared into nothing as she answered,

“Well... she was pretty. Real long, darkish hari, slim, but you know, not scerawny. Pretty chesty,” this was added with a jealous look, as Em was pretty flat. “one of those people who act like they own everything, and pretend they’re being nice but end up sounding more patronizing.” Em hesitated, remembering that this woman was supposed to be a friend of mine.

I shook my head. But she seemed determined to figure this mystery out.

“Said she knew you through a mutual friend. What was his name... Something weird and oldish. Oh. Konstantine is what is was.”

I straightened up with a furrowed brow. I felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. Reese. She was that woman who was sucking face with Kon a week ago.

“What did she want?” I asked, putting down my pen.

“Just said to say hi is all,” Em replied. “So you do know her?”

Well this would open up a whole new avenue I didn’t want to go down. I just shrugged, tried to sound as uninterested as possible, which was difficult since I’d shown clear signs of being supremely freaked out just a second ago. “Not really.”

“Oh... Well she seemed nice enough I guess.” That was Emilie feeling bad that she’d essentially insulted the woman a moment before, and trying to make it up to her in her own mind. She always did stuff like that. Really empathic, my big sis.

I left maybe an hour or so later, after watching some soap operas and doing our best to mock them. Em had to go to work, I had to keep looking for work.

But what I really wanted to know? Why that woman was asking about me, and how she knew my name. I mean, we’d really only had a brief glance of one another. Had Konstantine talked to her about me? Was she any sort of threat to me?

I shook my head, feeling like a complete dolt. I mean, this wasn’t some sort of video game, or war zone. I didn’t have to diagnose friend or foe upon meeting.

It just seemed like a lot of the new people (or whatevers) I’d been coming into contact with meant to do me harm. At least some of the time.

I headed into town to see if any more shops were open to inquire about work. See, this is how I do things. When I get something in my head I go at it. I get obsessed about it and don’t give up until I’ve either solved it, satiated myself, or at very least become bored with it.

After another half hour of no success, I went to one of the local coffee shops. The one that wasn’t a chain. Chain coffee was okay, but this place, this place had the real deal.

I ordered, sat down, pulled out my journal, a fresh cup of vanilla latte by my side. I had just touched pen to paper when I heard a chair slide across the floor, the rush of air as someone sat heavily on that chair. At my small little table. I looked up. I almost gagged.

Kon’s lady, the one who knew me well enough to know my sister, was sitting across from me. She had some sort of grin on her face. I couldn’t tell if it was malicious, amused, or a little sultry.

“This place must be good, all the locals seem to flock here,” she said. Her voice was just as my sister had described it. That air of arrogance was almost unbearable. And strangely alluring. I sort of smiled back, one of those smiles you give when you want someone to go away. I drew my eyes back to my paper. She didn’t leave.

“Don’t pretend you don’t recognize me. You were showing quite an interest yesterday. Did your sister pass on my message, by the way? She’s cute. A little homely and plain, but, you know, cute.”

“You must have me confused with–” I began without looking up. She slapped her hand onto my paper, stopping me mid word both in tongue and hand.

“Your a horrible liar, kid. Now, I don’t believe we were properly introduced back in the woods.” She raised her hand to shake, I still didn’t look up. “Come on, doll, you’ve got to observe the niceties. I hear you country folk are all about that,” she said as she raised my chin up with her hand. I pulled back, but she grabbed my hand as I did, shook it.

“My name’s Reese. Nice to meet you.”

I sort of stared at her for a moment. She was sitting backwards in the chair, with the back of it pressed against her chest. She didn’t seem to be wearing any makeup, and now that I saw her closer her face wasn’t as smooth as I had thought before. She had high, pronounced cheekbones that suited her. Her hair was tremendously thick. Jess had pretty thick hair, and was always saying what a pain it was because of how heavy it was. I was amazed this woman’s neck hadn’t snapped back already.

“Staring isn’t nice, flattering though it may be,” she said. “And you forgot to introduce yourself.” She still hadn’t let go of my hand. She squeezed tighter. I tried to pull it away. Her firm seemed as iron as Konstantine’s had, if not more. Tighter. The ring on my fourth finger bit into my other fingers, and I couldn’t stop the breath of pain that escaped my mouth. She pulled my hand forward, forcing me to lean over the table.

“Your name, kid.”

“B- b- benjamin F- faires,” I said at last, a little gaspy. She smiled, let go. She knew my name. What the hell kind of game was she at?

“Relax, Ben, we’re all friends here.” She stood, spun her chair around, sat back down, ending up slightly closer to me than she had been before.

“It’s Benjamin,” I said, stiff, not making eye contact.

“What?”

“My name’s Benjamin.”

She laughed. “Don’t be so uptight. So word is you’ve shown a bit of interest in that old church. You’re either pretty brave or pretty stupid. Isn’t that what they say in those books and movies you people have? Full of clichés and lines of the sort to serve with wine, I don’t bother with either.” She leaned back in her chair, grabbed my coffee and took a drink herself. “Movies are mindless imitations and books, well, they’re just too damn full of themselves, aren’t they?” She shrugged, took another drink of my latte, set it down. She looked me over, first my almost empty page in my notebook, up my arm, my face, and I was glad the table was in the way because her eyes were headed down.

I suddenly felt a sharp pang for Konstantine for some unknown reason, and hated her instantly much more than I had him.

Finally she sort of made a thoughtful noise, brought her attention back to my face.

“You’re not at all what I would have thought,” she said. “For one, I thought you’d be at least a little more attractive. You’re kind of short and weak looking.” She pointed near the top of my head and said, “You do have a widow’s peak like Konstantine, but it just makes you look nerdy.”

“What do you want?” I said darkly. What kind of person says stuff like that in conversation? I would have expected it from Lea, but... honestly.

“But I guess a man’s real attraction is beyond just looks. Your ears are big, too. And those glasses... honey, try a thinner frame. Maybe a nice rectangular wireframe. Make you look like an engineer.” She sort of smiled at that. “Engineer’s aren’t so bad. Their drafting tables come in handy sometimes.”

I stood up, grabbed my notebook. “You can finish that,” I said, motioning towards the latte and turned to go. I would be lying if I said her grip on my upper arm didn’t chill me in a way I couldn’t explain. She’d grabbed my left arm with her own, and now stood behind me, her right hand on my right shoulder, her lips hovering by my ear.

“Let’s have a chat, okay? Somewhere more private. I think the locals have bad taste in coffee.”

I was reminded by my most recent experience with Kon as she led me out, her fingernails digging into my arm.

As we left the shop, I was wondering what the hell I was doing. Letting this woman take me wherever she pleased. Whoever she was. I could just make a break for it.

“Your sister lives around here, doesn’t she? Yeah, 517 East Byron, right? She’ll be coming home late from work. Don’t you worry about her safety? Some crazy stranger could just come up to her and,” she drew her nail from her right hand across my throat. I got her point. I didn’t try to get away.

We crossed the street to the quad in front of the courthouse. The streetlights were starting to buzz and they flickered with a green light which was still overcome by the steadily weakening sun. She led me towards one of the hexagonal shaped wooden benches which encircled a small tree. It was near the edge of the quad. She sat down, pulled me down next to her on her right.

“Alright then, kid. Let’s get something straight. I don’t give a rat’s ass that get your kicks by getting the shit beat out of you by Konstantine. See, my care’s with him, you must have noticed. Ever since he got that job at the church–”

“Job?”

“He hasn’t spent any amount of time with me. I’m a jealous sort of girl, and he won’t own up to anything. So tell me. What’s there that keeps him so entranced?”

What job was she talking about? And she’d mentioned Konstantine, but she hadn’t mentioned Thi. Didn’t she know about her?

“I mean, its got to be damn good for him to ignore me,” Reese said, crossing her left leg over her right. Her foot brushed my shin. She didn’t seem to notice. She was staring forward somewhere. “We used to have a lot of fun.” She looked back at me. “Well?”

“I wouldn’t know.” I started to stand up, she pulled me back down.

“I’m on paid leave, kid, I’ve got plenty of time. Konstantine won’t own up to me, and he sure as hell won’t let me near that church. So what’s he hiding? He got himself a little whore?”

“Shut up!” I jumped to my feet, some knightly sense of chivalry boiling inside of me. She may not have known about Thi, but I didn’t like what she was implying. She tried to pull me down again, I resisted.

I don’t know how she moved so fast. One second I was standing, tugging against her grip, the next I was being pinned to the ground by her. My chest rose and fell quickly, shallow, ineffective breaths making my chest sting.

“Well someone is a little sensative,” she said quietly with another one of those smiles. She was stradling my waist, and when I realized that, I began to flush again. She laughed.

“Does our prediciment make you a little nervous, honey?” she asked. “You certainly didn’t get the proper schooling at college, did you? You know how to tell how resiliant a man is? I think torture has its place, but I think a woman can crack a man much faster than a metal utensil.” She leaned forward, her lips lingering just above my neck. Her breath was hot, I could feel her lips just barely touching my skin. My breathing grew quicker. I wouldn’t have guessed it could.

I was horrified by her shameless prostitution, I wanted to shove her off, get up and run. But... I couldn’t move. And I realized she wasn’t pinning me down anymore. Something in me was keeping me there as her lips touched my neck, as they moved to the corner of my mouth.

When her lips actually touched me, every ounce of filthy desire I had felt vanished, and I was as repusled as the princess who kissed the frog. Though... I didn’t much care for either way that analogy would have been applied to me.

My whole body jerked, and I managed to push her off and scramble to my feet. She slowly stood, laughing. Just... laughing.

“Don’t worry, honey, you’re not my type.”

And then she left. She didn’t look back, she didn’t say anything more, she just left. I watched her go, feeling much more shaken than I had the first time Konstantine had hit me.



The songs are very loud today. Konstantine is not here. I have not seen him in a few days. I have not seen Benjamin in a longer time. It is lonely here. Sometimes I think I hear someone over the songs, and then I get scared because I don’t know if it would be Konstantine, Benjamin, or them. They’ve been here before. I don’t want them to come back. I don’t want to go to sleep.

The songs are so loud. I know them very well. Sometimes if I sing with them, they aren’t so loud. But I tried that already, and they just echo more and more. There are two now, they are going at the same time.

When peace like my vision o lord of my sorrow like sea billows Thought by day or by night thou hast taught me to presence my light with my soul. Wisdom and Thou my true well with my soul and Thou with me Satan should buffet though I Thy true son, blest assurance control That me dwelling and I blood for my soul.

I don’t know which is which, the melodys the harmonys the words and the soul all combine into one strain of thought, twisting like the nether.

I don’t want to write anymore.

Day 16.

I left Thi asleep, hoping she wouldn’t hate me for leaving her. I left my pen beside her in case she didn’t have one. Maybe now she’d have something to do.
I opened the door just enough for me to squeeze through, trying to do so as quietly as I could. Once I closed the door behind me with a gentle, thmp, I started to trudge through the grass when I heard voices. I stopped, something in me wanting to crouch down into the tall grass so I couldn’t be seen. Instead, I just stood there, listening as intently as my dog when he thinks he hears kibble being poured into his dish.
The sounds were coming from my right, away from the direction of the road. They couldn’t have been far. Probably in the woods, only just past my sight.
I had to make sure it wasn’t anything that could disturb, or maybe even hurt, Thi. I felt like I had to protect her. Though how I thought I was going to do that, well, that’s another matter that wasn’t really planned out.
As quietly as I could I made my way through the sea of grass, until I finally reached the edge of the woods. The voices had stopped when I’d gotten about halfway there, but as I pressed myself against a tree, I could hear not far ahead what sounded like a giggle. A woman’s giggle.
Hesitant steps drew me closer, until I saw something.
The tall, dark form I immediately recognized as Konstantine. His back was against a large tree. He was kissing a woman. She looked tall, very slender, curvacious. Long hair was pulled back into a thick pony tale.
I was disgusted at myself for watching, but I couldn’t seem to look away. I felt angry at him, doing this so close by to someone so innocent as Thi. I couldn’t explain my anger, but it was definitely there.
The more I watched, the angrier I got.
Kon’s hands remained stuck in his pockets in some arrogant, cool-mannered pose. The woman, however, was not keeping her hands stationary. They were being quiet adventurous. The passion of her touch matched the passion of her kiss. It was almost as if he was bored with it.
I looked away, wanting to leave, but unexplicably wanting to run up and punch that stupid man right in the face. When I looked back, they had ended up sitting on the ground. Kon’s back was still leaned up against that tree. I saw her hands begin to go lower, towards his belt.
I almost turned to leave in a little bit of disgust when Kon pushed her back and said darkly,
“No, Reese, cut it out.”
She leaned forward again to kiss him, one hand against his chest, the other grabbing his belt again. He pushed her back. Her face grew livid as she sat up straight.
“What the hell’s gotten into you, huh? We used to have a lot of fun together.”
“I have to get back,” Konstantine murmered as he began to stand. Halfway there, he looked in my direction. Our eyes met, and it looked like he either wanted to kill me or kill himself, I couldn’t tell which.
“Kon, baby, don’t–” the woman began. But she saw his expression, his frozen, bent stance. She followed the direction of his glare, caught sight of me, and I swore I saw her lips twist into a smirk. She slowly stood.
I turned and left.
I heard him calling after me. I didn’t care. I hated that he could have been here, making out with some woman, while Thi sat alone in that cold, lifeless building. She defended him. How could she have been so delusional about him? He was a selfish, arrogant, son of a–
“Faires!” He grabbed my arm, stopping my fast pace, spinning me around. I ripped it out of his grasp, tried to keep going. He grabbed my upper arm with a grip that I had no chance of getting out of.
I thought he’d look angry.
But when I saw his face, I fought hard to keep pity out of my thoughts. Because even though the remnants of smeared lipstick still remained, he looked wretched. He was breathing heavily. So was I.
“What were you doing back there?”
I tried to pull loose, couldn’t. “I heard... stuff.” Nice ending. Kudos for the superb lameness that is your quick response time.
“It’s nothing, okay? There’s nothing between–” He stopped short, as if he suddenly realized there was absolutely no reason to be explaining all this to me. He sighed heavily, hanging his head, hunching his posture, still gripping my arm tightly. After a moment of me just standing there, trying to be as far away from him as I could without causing any more physical discomfort to my arm, he straightened up.
“Why do you keep coming back?”
“Because I keep getting dragged further and further into this mess! But no one seems to want to tell me what’s going on!” I suddenly felt a little like my family towards me.
“If you knew half of it, you’d stay away.”
“I’m starting to agree with you,” I replied, staring now at my arm in hopes he’d get the point. I gave a little tug for further inspiration, he finally let go. “But you seem to be the only other person Thi really cares about, God knows why.”
“Now what’s that supposed to mean?” He tilted his head in a menacing sort of way. I was losing that pity had I found a moment ago.
“It means I think you’re a bastard who doesn’t give a crap about her,” I spat back. He grabbed the front of my hoodie, pulled it up. I swore if he went any higher my feet wouldn’t be on the ground.
“You don’t know anything about me!”
With a man much larger and stronger than me having me in such a position, I would have thought my cowardice would have taken over. But somehow, I stupidly found the gall to carry on.
“You keep her locked away in that decrepit building like she’s some sort of pet. You’re all she’s got for company, so she thinks you’re one of the greatest things ever. She just doesn’t know any better.”
“Why can’t you just stay out of our lives?” He shook me.
There was such a ferocity in his eyes now, I couldn’t have said anything if I’d wanted to. After a moment he pushed me back, I barely caught myself.
He stood there, eyes down, his lips taunt.
“I know some things have happened that... well... there won’t be a repeat of last night.”
“And what was last night, huh? Why doesn’t anyone want to explain any of this to me?”
“Call it a bad dream, if you want. I don’t care. Just forget about us.”
“Who is us? Who is that girl in there? Who are you?” I reached in my bag, pulled out that local lore book, opened it, as my bookmark fell out, to the page with the picture of the girl. “Who is this?”
Kon looked up, saw the picture. He had a sharp intake of breath, tried to grab the book but I pulled it away.
“Where did you get that?”
I hesitated. Looked more intently at him. He knew something. He didn’t look surprised that Thi’s picture was in a book. He looked surprised that I had it. “Who is this?”
He made another grab for it, I pulled it away again but immediatley regretted it. Kon lunged at me, I dodged him only just, but before I could turn around he grabbed my hood, jerked me back. He planted a fist in my stomach. I doubled over, falling to my knees as I fought to suck in the air around me. He wrenched the book from my loose grasp.
“Stop sticking your nose in places it doesn’t belong!” He yelled as I finally started to breath again. He grabbed my bag, pulled the other book out. “You’re a damn idiot, Faires. Get out of here. If you come back, I’ll show you what its really like to get on my bad side. Understand?”
I tried to stand, decided it could wait.
“Get up.”
Apparently, he didn’t think I’d tried hard enough.
“Get up!” He grabbed my hoodie, wrenched me up, starting walking, pushing me in front of him until my feet started trying to keep up with him. We walked towards the road, I could feel his breath hot against my ear as he learned forward and hissed,
“You’re not going to have any more problems if you just stay out of our business. Forget about us.” He gave me a final shove onto the road and headed back into the church.


Konstantine is not happy. He came in and it woke me up. I didn’t know Benjamin had gone but when I woke up he wasn’t there. Only Kon at the door. He looked angry.
Sometimes he comes in angry, but then I make him happy. He will sit and talk with me, and I will tell him about things, and he will tell me what they are selling in the shops downtown, and how the shops downtown are doing, if he knows. Sometimes he asks them, but some of them don’t know.
But today he didn’t talk to me. I told him Bejamin had been here, he said he knew, and then I showed him this notebook. He looked very angry when that happend. I asked him what was wrong, he told me that Bejamin wasn’t coming back and that I shouldn’t think about him anymore.
I wonder if they fought outside? I don’t like them fighting. I want them to be friends. I am friends with both of them, and I would like them to be friends, too. But Benjamin is very sensitive I think, and also he likes to know what is going on. Konstantine is sensitive, too, but he doesn’t show it very much. He likes to hide that. He is very good, but I don’t think Benjamin sees that side of him. It takes a while, sometimes. Sometimes you have to go through the outer Konstantine and then you can get to his insides. That is the part that laughs with me. That is the part that holds me close when I’m sad until I fall asleep. That is the part that I know.
Konstantine is sitting by one of the windows at the edge of the pew. He is just looking out that window thinking. Sometimes he does that. He’s been doing that a lot more recently.
I wonder if he knows he has something on his face that is red. I don’t think its very evident, its just a little bit, but I still see it.
I told him, he rubbed his face that is whiskery and probably very scratchy and didn’t say anything back to me.
Maybe he is angry at me? I hope he is not angry at me, that would make me very sad.
I am going to stop writing in this journal for now, that Benjamin gave to me. It was very nice of him.
Maybe someday I can write down the songs that are always playing in my head. Maybe that will help get them out. But I think if they were gone I would be sad.
Maybe Konstantine needs songs in his head, too, to make him happy.

Day 15.

I grabbed both books, headed to the front.

“Find what you’re looking for?” Rosie asked as I handed her the two books.

“Um... yeah. Hey, who checked this one out last?” I asked as she handed me back the lore book.

“Don’t know. Some lady returned it, I didn’t know her. Here, let me check the name. Why you interested?”

“Just curious...”

“Well something’s up, but I won’t press you.” She navigated through a few windows on the computer, typed, clicked, typed some more. “Hmm... doesn’t look like anybody did. Bet you anything they just took the book right out of the place. I keep telling mom we need to get those sensor thingies at the door, but she thinks its unnecessary.”

I stuffed the books in my shoulder bag, thanked Rosie for her help, and left.

To say my head was spinning would have been an understatement. There was nothing in my mind that could rationalize why some girl killed in a church over sixty years ago would happen to look exactly like this strange girl in the same church. The book said she was fourteen. Thi could have been that. She seemed older somehow; not in voice or personality, not even in body really, but there was something more mature about her.

The church had been creepy enough growing up, so forsaken as it was. But to know what had happened there... I couldn’t even imagine it, some man raping a young girl like that in a church? And what had she been doing there? The book said no one really knew.

I felt like going to the college to see if I could find this Dr. Jhonas. I remembered Dad talking about her sometimes. But it was a Saturday, and I seemed to remember that she wasn’t at the school much anyhow.

I knew then that I needed to go back. I had to talk to Thi. After all that had happened since I’d first ventured there this summer, I didn’t really want to, but I knew I had to. Konstantine, whoever he was, would want me to stay away. I didn’t doubt that to some extent he wanted me to do so for my own safety. But again my cowardice and curiosity had come to arms. Even as I pedaled home, they were going to fisticuffs. You’d think cowardice wouldn’t fight too well, but actually he’s a fair opponent.

I was wondering whose side to root for when I heard a honk and nearly fell off my bike. I swerved horribly, caught myself, and looked to my left where a car was pulling beside me and driving very slowly. It was Emilie. She had her window rolled down.

“Benny, you want a ride?”

“Nah, I’m fine!” I shouted back.

“Sure you do. Come on, put your bike in the back.”

“Home’s not that far away.”

“I wanna talk to you! Don’t make me pull in front of you. We all know you’re horrible on the bike and you’d fall and kill yourself.”

I sighed, but applied the brakes. She was right. I was not the greatest riding a bicycle. A little embarassing to admit, but I
I’ve never mastered it. Always a little shaky on steering.

After manhandling my bicycle into the back of her station wagon, I got into the car and Emilie started driving.

“Where were you coming from?” She asked with a glance over at me.

“Library.”

“Hey, what’s been up with you the past few days?” Emilie said, as if her earlier question was just a preliminary greeting that she had been anxious to get out of the way.

Just like it had been with Lea this morning, my instinct was to say, “Nothing,” and try to let it go. But I suddenly wanted to talk about it. I wanted to have someone I could trust to share in all of this. I wanted to know if someone else could see what I was seeing, to know if I was crazy or not. I stared at the dash, wondering if she would believe me. Yeah, she would. She’d either believe or give me the chance to prove it.

I wanted to tell her.

But I couldn’t.

“We’re all worried about you. I mean, you’ve been weird this whole summer, but in a way that, you know, that we can understand, even expect. But ever since you got home with that shiner, you’ve been really weird.”

“Shiner? Do people still say that any more?” I laughed. It was sort of a half laugh.

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Em.”

Suddenly she slammed on the brakes. I jerked forward, was caught by the seatbelt, threw back. We hadn’t been going very fast, but even so it was a shock to my system.

“What are you–” I began, throwing a wildly confused look at her. She was looking back at me, steady and persistent.

“We used to talk about everything. Even when you were away at school.”

“You can’t just stop in the middle of the road.” It’s not like anyone was around. This was a remote little country road, not much traffic.

Emilie punched on her emergency lights in response to my objection and continued to stare at me.

I don’t know how long I fought about what to say. I could bring her into this, we could handle it together. But I didn’t want to bring her into this. It was just... just too dangerous. I didn’t want her involved. I could handle it myself. No one had to know about it.

Now I couldn’t figure out if I had some stupid man-syndrome, or if I really just wanted to protect her. I hoped it was the latter. It seemed much more honourable.

“I want to be in your life, Ben,” she said, very quietly. She was blinking more often. I thought I saw her eyes glisten a little more in the sunlight.

It came out without my intending it to. I don’t know what in me decided to choose this response, but its what came.

“I can handle it.”

There are three things in my life that I regret most. I mean, I’ve made tons of mistakes, don’t get me wrong. But these three have somehow made it to the top of my list. The first was when i was in second grade. There was this kid, Waylon, who was always a little bit weird. I don’t know why, now that I look back. He was just different. One recess, a few of my friends decided they were going to throw rocks at him. Just the gravel on the ground. I don’t think any of us knew how serious that was. They just thought it would be funny. When they told me about the plan, I said I wasn’t going to, and I walked away. It wasn’t out of any sense of right or wrong. I just knew that I could get in trouble if we got caught.

But what I always regretted was just walking away. I think about it and get so mad at myself sometimes. I wish with every bone in my body that instead of just walking away, that I had joined Waylon and played with him.

Nothing ever really came of my friends’ plan. I think they picked a few pebbles and made a few feeble tosses, but my denial to join in kind of stole their thunder.

But I wish to God I’d played with Waylon.

So that was number one.

Number two was this moment, right now. When I looked at Emilie, square in the face, and I shoved off her concern, that bond we’d shared since we were kids. She offered her help and I told her I didn’t need her.

Maybe if I had talked to her, maybe if I would have included her, things would have turned out differently.

I made my choice. And that choice got into my top three regrets of my twenty-two years of life.

Number three, you ask? Well... that’s none of you business.

After my “I can handle it,” Emilie pushed the emergency signal button to turn it off, put the car back in drive and continued down our road. She didn’t say another word the rest of the ride there. She didn’t act like she was giving me the cold shoulder or anything, it was just clear that we had nothing more to say unless I was going to change my mind.

We pulled into the driveway in continued silence. Emilie parked in silence. She went inside while I struggled with my bike, trying to wriggle it free from the back of Emilie’s station wagon. I finally succeeded, though it nearly toppled me backwards with its sudden willingness to let go.

I went inside to find the family watching a movie. I didn’t much care to join, so I ran up to my room before they really noticed me.

Before I had gone to the library, I had helped clean up the glass from my room and tape some cardboard in the empty window until we could get a new one in. I was glad it was warmer today, though I feared that tonight might be a little drafty.

I thought I would have wanted to be here, to escape to somewhere familiar and comforting, but after last night, this was not exactly a comforting place to be. I searched around for my notebook, couldn’t find it, cursed about that, then grabbed a new one and headed back downstairs. Maybe I would journal or something, just to get all this out without really telling anyone.

That’s what I was telling myself as I headed back outside, at least. I’ll just find a spot to sit down and journal. But down further than surface intentions, I knew I wouldn’t be journaling. I knew I’d be going back to Thi.

I had to talk to her. Partly because of that picture in the book, which still sat snuggly in my shoulder bag. But there was something about her that made me want to be there. Want to take care of her. Like... like a little kitten, you know can’t really fend for itself, but has been doing an okay job of so far. So you set some milk out for it, give it a stroke now and then. I had thought it was Thi who had been obsessed over me, but I was finding, now that I was thinking about her, I couldn’t stop.

Let me clear this up right now. It wasn’t anything... romantic or anything. I was too creeped out by her and everything around her to be thinking about romance. Like I said, she was like a stray kitten who mews and mews outside your door, and when you finally let it in, you can’t get enough of the thing. Maybe that sounds a little girly, but I think most men would have to admit a certain effinity towards a helpless little kitten.

I didn’t know what to expect this time, as I walked down the road to the old church. I hoped Kon wasn’t there. I didn’t want to have to deal with him, not right now. I wanted to talk to Thi.

When I reached the clearing, there wasn’t that sense of fear that I had felt the last time I’d come to that point. Maybe it was the bright sun casting a warm glow on the golden grass and the stained glass windows. I walked straight to the door, and just as I was about to open the doors, the opened from the inside. Thi stood behind them. She looked hesitant.

“What are you doing here, Benjamin Faires?”

“Can I come in? I asked meekly. Thi smiled, oepened the door a little more, let me slide in, then closed it behind me.

“Kon is not here right now,” she said. Then she cocked her head to one side and said, “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” I replied, readjusting the strap of my bag, thinking of the book inside. The picture inside that book that resembled this girl so very much.

“Why?”

Should I start with the “what the hell are you” topic, or should I ease us into that? Take a wild guess which one I chose.

“Things have been weird, you know and... and... Its just nice to have someone to talk to.” I think I gave her what she wanted to hear. She had been so intent before to be my friend, that I think she was willing to accept that. She didn’t need to know that I had already shoved away someone else in my life who had wanted to talk to me. Someone more important to me than her.

Judging by the smile and the sparkle in those still chilly eyes, Thi had liked that answer. She took my hand and pulled me to the front of the church, and we sat down around where a pulpit would have been.

She glanced at the door, and her face fell a little.

“Konstantine wouldn’t be happy about you being here.”

“He doesn’t ever seem to be happy,” I replied, feeling a little like a kid as I pulled my knees up to my chest. Thi watched carefully, so much so that I felt self conscious and was about to sit up straight when she slowly began to do the same as I had done. She rested her chin between her knees, bit her lip. She seemed to do that a lot.

“He means well...”

“Who is he?”

“He’s my–” She stopped, blinking furiously as she stared at her toes, which were again bare.

“Your what?”

“Are you feeling okay after last night?”

I sat up straight. “What were you going to say?”

She looked a little pitiful as she again drew her eyes back down to her toes, holding her legs close and tight against her chest. “He just watches out for me.”

“He’s a jerk,” I sighed, tugging my shoulder back off and flopping it beside me. Thi’s posture became very attentive.

“What’s in your purse?”

“It’s not a purse...”

“Then what is it?”

“Just a bag.”

“A purse.”

“No, its a bag. Like a book bag. Purses are for women. Bags are unisex.”

She shrugged and reached for it. I let her. As she looked at it, testing the pockets on the front, she began, “You should not be so very hard on him. He’s not bad, just very... heavy minded?”

“Heavy minded?”

“He... he has a lot on his mind. You know, there’s a weight.” She began to paw inside, found the notebook I’d grabbed, pulled it out.

“This isn’t like the one before.” She opened it, saw it was blank, and frowned. “You don’t write in this one?”

“Its new. Nothing in it yet.”

“I see...” She kept flipping through the pages, as if she was still looking for something. “You like to write about what happens in your life?”

I rubbed my arm absentmindedly. “Yeah, I guess so. Sometimes. Usually not about what’s going on in my life. I used to when I was a kid, but not so much anymore.”

“I think it would be nice. It would be like talking to someone, when no one is around.” She stroked one of the pages, following one of the ruling lines with her middle finger.

“If you want... you can have that one. So you can, you know, write down your life or whatever.”

Her face glowed. “Do you mean it? I can have this?”

I shrugged. “Yeah.”

Before I really knew what was happing Thi had practically tackled me, wrapping her arms tightly around my body. Not expecting it, I fell backwards, her arms still tight around my waist. I was on my back, she was on my chest, and I was trying to keep my face out of sight because I knew I was flushing something horrible. She didn’t seem to notice anything was amiss, because she didn’t move.

“Thank you very much, Benjamin!” She said. She pecked my cheek.

“Yeah, just get off, okay?”

She did, but seated herself right next to me as I leaned back up. Thankfully, she was too entranced with the notebook to notice my red face.

And then we just sat there. She didn’t say anything more, just held that notebook like I used to hold my old stuffed penguin. I would glance down at her every now and then, but she was just staring into nothing. As the minutes passed I noticed she began to lean more and more against me. Her eyes would flutter like someone who was desperately tired but didn’t want to fall asleep and miss anything.

Finally, she slipped down into my lap. She didn’t move, though I flinched horribly, my arms raising up. She was dead asleep, and I couldn’t help but kind of laugh at her. I finally relaxed, layed a hand on her shoulder.

This was what Lea’s puberty had stolen from me. A little sister I could protect, or at least feel like it. Someone who could lean on me, feel safe enough to sleep with me watching out for her.

I didn’t move for the longest time, wondering how she could have fallen asleep so fast. I had come here that day to confront her, to ask her about the things that were happening. Who she was.

But now, I knew I couldn’t do any of that. I didn’t want to make her answer, to think about things that seemed far too much outside of her reality. She needed to be young and innocent. Naive.

I don’t know how much time had passed, or whether I, too, had fallen asleep, but I decided I probably should leave.

Day 14.

Tonight felt much more serene. There was a calmness to the gentle breeze outside, a quietude to my room. Everyone had gone to sleep hours ago, but i couldn’t achieve that nirvana. I was almost glad about it, just to experience this silence.

It was around that time that I started feeling something else. Like... a heavy sensation on my shoulders. At first, I didn’t htink too much about it. But after a few minutes it became more noticable. I sat back down on my bed, moved my shoulders up and down, stretched my arms, flexed my hands. Nothing seemed to help.

I bent forward. The pressure was increasing. It didn’t seem to be coming from my muscles, which I had initially thought. it almost felt like... like it was coming from outside. Like someone was pressed their hands upon my shoulder.

I rubbed my eyes until I saw stars. Bright lines danced before my blackened sight, but I couldn’t get rid of the pressure.

Suddenly, my shoulders exploded in sharp pain, like claws pressed into my flesh. I let out a muffled yelp, doubling over. Some taloned thing surely was clenching my shoulders tightly, but nothing was there. I slid off my bed to my knees, my hands grasping my shoudlers, trying to find some kind of relief. I opened my mouth to yell something, I don’t know what, but I felt moist heat against my neck, heard a long hssssssss, like steam.

I remember glass flying everywhere, the caw of a crow. He was yelling now, shouting to leave me alone, they had no authority here. The pressure gave way, the stinging pain subsided, daggers drawn from a wound, I was laying on the ground.

“Faires? Faires? Ah shit...”

Hands gathered me into arms, and I flew.

My body was cold, I was laying on something hard. But my head was on something soft and warm.

“I told you to follow the rules, I told you I wasn’t the only one watching!”

I felt fingers float across my face, barely touching. It tickled.

“God knows I do what I can, but you don’t make it easy! I told you they’d know, and now they’ve gotten him involved!”

“They should not have gone to him...” Her voice was very quiet.

“You made contact in a way no one’s dared in ages. They’re so damn intent on... Look, no matter how we feel about it, there are rules. We’re under them, so we follow their rules.”

“I was lonely...”

“You’ve got me!” I heard a heavy sigh, he continued, “I know its not what you want. But he’s not an option for you.”

“You brought him back, didn’t you?”

“Didn’t know where the hell else to bring him. He couldn’t just stay with it still there, and they won’t come here.”

“Thank you, Kon.”

“Eh?”

“Thank you. For bringing him back.”

“Look, just wake him up, okay? We need to make sure they didn’t do anything to him.”

She was tapping my forehead. I felt her breath, warm and sweet, on my ear. “Benjamin Faires? It’s time to get up.”

I was up. Why weren’t my eyes open?

“Benjamin Faires, I have your glasses this time. See?”

I felt her slide them on. That must have done it, because now I could finally open my eyes. “I wasn’t asleep,” I murmered. I then remembered that my shoulders were still sore. It wasn’t the stinging pain I remember, or the pressure, but the sort of pain you have when you’ve been lifting weights for the first time in a really long time.

Thi’s face was hanging over mine, upside down. She smiled. I realized my head was on her lap. I flushed and sat up very quickly, cringing slightly at the tension in my trapezius. We were near the front of the church, up by the piano. Konstantine stood nearby, looking extraordinarily anxious. He kept running his hands through his hair. He wasn’t at all the domineering figure he had been the last time I’d seen him.

“How do you feel?” Kon asked. He looked nonchallant, crossing his arms, but I could tell there was worry in that question. Now whether it was for me or not, well, I couldn’t say.

“Shoulders hurt a little,” I said. At first I was sort of touched by his concern, or something one might call concern, but then I got angry. Angry because I jsut didn’t understand anything that was going the hell on. I stood up, Thi slowly followed suit. But my attention right now was on that tall man who always seemed to be around when weird things were happening to me.

“What happened back there?” I motioned to some general direction behind me, which may or may not have actually been towards my house. I hoped we wouldn’t get caught up on trivial details like that.

Kon clearly did not want to tell me what had happened, and at some level, my mind convinced myself that that was just fine. I mean, why did I need to know? Maybe if I didn’t know, I could just pretend it was all a dream or some sort of imaginings intended to be written in my notebook. I convinced myself that not knowing was probably not the best way to go about this, and persisted staring at him until he gave an answer.

He dropped his eyes, breathed heavily a few times.

“They’re not allowed to touch everyone else,” he said quietly. That didn’t really answer my question. I was about to remind him of that, but he continued. “I don’t know what happened back there, Faires. Maybe... Maybe it was just a rogue?” He looked at Thi, ending with a tentative, hopeful tone. She looked back with doubting eyes, the corners of her brows slightly unturned, biting her lips. Kon shook his head, looked back at me.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s no kind of answer,” I said, failing to keep a little venom out of my voice.

“It’s the only one I’ve got! And don’t get smart with me, kid, I saved your sorry ass.”

“Who’s the ‘they’ you guys keep talking about, then?” I asked. Then I kind of freakout out a little, my head shook a bit, and I added, “And, and, who the hell are you?” That time I motioned at both of them.

“You were content not knowing three days ago. How about you just go back to that plan.”

“Because something freakin’ tried to kill me tonight!”

“I think I should take you home,” Kon said, raising his hand a little as if to placate me.

“No! Ever since I came here, I’ve been in a perpetual state of confusion and various stages of pain! Now I think its my right to know what is happening and–”

“That’s your problem, you know?” Kon said, stepping towards me. I backed off. “You and all the ones like you. Think you’ve got rights to everything. Think you’ve got so much freedom to do whatever the hell you what. You think that’s a right? It’s a privilege everytime you leave your bloody house that you’re privileged enough to bloody have!” He came closer, grabbed my shoulder, which made me flinch more than I would have liked. He bent down so we face to face. “I’m sorry you got involved in this, but don’t worry, its going to end now. You can just forget about tonight, and this place. Alright?”

Veins which had been popping from his temples were starting to secede. He let go of me. My shoulders throbbed.

That’s when I remembered. Fifteen years ago, when I had been sitting on the front steps of this building, and those boys had stood at the edge of the clearing. I remembered as they came closer, they were yelling. Yelling about someone pushing down on their shoudlers. They couldn’t see anyone. Neither could I. I remembered how they stopped halfway to me, maybe a hundred feet away, spinning around, trying to find cause for the pressure they were feeling. A pressure I felt last night.

Only my story didn’t end the same way their’s did.

“Stay away from him,” Thi said sharply as I came out of that memory. I found myself sitting on a pew, breathing fast and shallow. Kon had just started towards me. Thi was already there. Kon stopped, narrowing his eyes with confusion.

“Thi, don’t be–”

“You weren’t there. You don’t know.” She turned back to me, a tender hand on my shoulder. “Our pasts are part of us, but you should never dwell somewhere you’ve already been. Come on, get up, you need to leave.”

I shook my head. “You were here ten years ago, weren’t you. You were here when that happened. You saw it!”

Thi stood up. “Kon, you should take him home.”

“No!” I jumped to my feet, looking frantically from one to the other. “No! What happened to them... that happened to me tonight! What was it? What was trying to do to me what it did to them?”

“There’s no danger at your house anymore, but Kon should see you there. I have to stay here.”

As I looked at her, she suddenly seemed so much older. She wasn’t the young, innocent thing I had known thus far. She was... mature and tainted by life.

“But–”

“Goodbye, Benjamin Faires.”

She turned away without another word, small, bare feet taking her to the piano. She sat down, her fingers touched the keys, but she didn’t play anything. Kon sighed, placed his huge hand on my back and started to lead me towards the doors.

“No, wait, I–”

“That’s enough now, Faires. She won’t say a damn thing when she gets like this. Come on.”

He kept guiding me forward. I tried to stop, to look back, but that hand on my back seemed to make stopping impossible. I did look back, nearly tripped over debris, so gave in to going with Kon.

Once we were outside in the clearing, the night seemed so much less intimidating. The moon lit the clearing, and weird though it was to hear myself admit it, being by the side of a massive guy like Konstantine was enough to keep me from feeling any fear about the woods ahead.

“Ten years ago...” I began, hoping to get something out of him.

“Ten years ago, I wasn’t here. So try your luck elsewhere.”

More silence. Manly silence with my dad was okay, even enjoyable. Manly silence with Kon? Intimidating and nerve-wracking. There was so much I wanted to know that he knew, but I had already accepted he’d never share. Maybe if I got him off the subject of the crazy-ass thing that attacked me in my room, I could surprise him into an answer.

“So what’s with you and Thi?” I asked, though as soon as I had said it I realized this was probably not the way to start things off.

“Nothing.” Besides the annoyance in that answer, there was an element of sadness. This man was more like a woman with his multiple emotion answers.

“You live in an abandoned building with a girl half your age and you expect me to believe there’s nothing going on?” OK, so I needed lessons on delicate ways to phrase questions.

“She’s not half my age! Does she... does she look half my age?” The guy was definitely a woman. Maybe he knew what I was thinking, because he grunted in a manly sort of way and added, “We don’t live there.”

“What do you mean?”

“Neither of us live there. She’s just... there. And I’m, well, its just a jo– I mean, I just am there a lot.”

“So you’re not, well, you know.”

“Haven’t you asked enough questions now?” Kon said, stepping over a pothole as we navigated the ill tended road back to my house.

“What makes you think its safe back at my house?” I asked. I was bad at this game of diversion.

“Because you will.”

“Strangely enough, that doesn’t give me much comfort.”

“They’re... look, I can’t explain it to you, just trust me, okay?”

“We don’t exactly have the best track record.”

“I saved your life, didn’t I?”

“From what?”

“From–” Kon stopped walking. Damn, I’d almost done it, too! “Look here, kid,” he pushed my chest, “You’re nosy. You can play that up to being a ‘creative mind’ or whatever, but I don’t like it, and I don’t like you. Now you need the cut this inquiring minds crap, because let me tell you, it won’t get you anywhere you want to be. Got that sparky?”

“You did not seriously just call me sparky.”

“You got yourself mixed up in some deep shit, and if you want my advice, you go home, and you try to forget about it. If you do that, then there’s no reason you should have any more problems like you did tonight. Now come on.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me forward until I started walking on my own, then let go.

It wasn’t long before we were standing outside my house. He stopped at the gate.

“Go on in. I’d sleep on the couch if I were you. Bound to be a hell of a lot of glass on your bedroom floor.”

“My parents will send you the bill.”

“That’s cute. Still living with your parents?”

I took the hint and started towards the house. Not a look back. I figured that was what he wanted. Make him think I’d follow his advice, give up on all of this.

The front door was locked, but I reached up for the key above the door. My parents were some of the most unorginal people in that way. Our house was just begging to be robbed. Though in all honesty, the thief would be disappointed.

I quietly entered the house. Which meant I stubbed my toe, knocked over a plastic cup, and ran into a door that didn’t look to be closed. After that last incident, I waited in silence to see if anyone had woken up. I didn’t hear any sounds of movement on any of the floors. And with the creaky floorboards of an old farmhouse like this, its pretty easy to guess where any member of the family is in any part of the house. I could actually hear my dad snoring. Good. Glad to see I could be attacked, kidnapped, and returned without anyone in my family noticing.






“Did you get him back alright?”

“He’s fine.”

“Why... why did that happen?”

“Why does everyone think I know that answer?”

“Are they going to come for me?”

“No one’s coming for you.”

“But you reported me, right?”

“You know I have to. Everyone knows you’re a problem, if I didn’t report you at all, they’d know something was wrong.”

“I don’t want to go to sleep...”

“Oh god, Thi, come on, don’t cry. You’re not going to sleep. I’ll handle it, okay? Look, I have to go now, I’ll smooth it over and–”

“Don’t go...”

“What?”

“Please don’t go... I don’t want to be alone...”

“I... look, stop crying, it’ll be okay. Come here. See? It’ll be fine. Shhh... calm down, no one is going to hurt you. Just try to get some rest. Shhh...”





It was around three in the afternoon when I left the house. I had eeked out of Lea where she’d left my bike, which was at one of her friend’s houses. I treked the mile to the house, found my bike on the front stoop, and headed into town.

Today the weather had cleared up and was acting more seasonal; not quite as warm as usual, but warm enough that I only slipped on a light hoodie.

Our library was a very comfortable place to be. Or, I found it to be. It wasn’t huge, but its selection was nothing to turn your nose up at. One librarian managed the whole thing. She was the kind of person who would never give you that death glare if you dared greet a friend in a normal voice level. She was a bit of a loud person herself.

I locked my bike up outside the library and headed inside. I was bound and determined to find out something about that church. As soon as I heaved the doors open and stuck my head inside I heard a loud,

“Ben Faires!”

I looked to my right at the counter and saw a familiar face, but one I hadn’t seen in quite some time.

“Hey, Rosie.”

Rosalie Brooks. She was always sort of a quirky girl. She went to high school with me. We were always friends, but never really close. I usually didn’t get close to too many people. Maybe it was a lack of social skills.

She hadn’t changed a bit. Still looked like she was in highschool. She came from around the counter, gave me a quick hug, stepped back.

“It’s been forever, Ben!” Rosalie was one of the few who called me Ben. In punishment, I always called her Rosie.

Her fashion sense hadn’t changed much either. Rosie was the kind of person who shopped almost exclusively at Salvation Army. She was a fan of layers; three layers of shirts was not uncommon and skirts over jeans were favoured. She was an average looking girl, other than that. Didn’t wear much makeup, kept her shoulder length mousy brown hair in low, loose, bun type loops on either side of her head, allowing a good variety of flyaways. She had very little chest to speak of, and a fairly long torso.

“You still helping out here?” I asked, my hands deep in my pockets.

“Oh yeah. Mom and I run it pretty much equally now.”

Didn’t I mention? Her mom was the librarian who likes to be loud.

“That’s cool. You, uh, you still taking classes out at the college?” I hated small talk. Rosie had been taking classes at the local community college since I could remember. Lots of literture type classes. My dad loved her.

“Sure am. In one of your dad’s classes right now. I think I’m going to have to give up being a student though; already got my degree. Just fun, you know?”

No, I didn’t.

“Well... uh, you looking for anything specific or just here for fun?” She asked after I supplied the conversation with only an awkward pause. I shrugged.

“Um, yeah. You guys have any local type litertaure?”

“You mean published by local people?”

“Yeah. Maybe... maybe historical something?”

“Well... newspapers of course, always good. But, we do have a little local section right over there, actually. That little display in the corner.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks Rosie.”

She hit my shoulder. It hurt. But I didn’t show it.

“No prob. Well, I’ll let you get to it. Call if you need anything, okay? I think we’re pretty much the only ones in here today.” She smiled this goofy thing she did where she squinched up her nose and squeezed her eyes shut and smiled a huge closed mouth grin. She would only hold it for the briefest moment, you would wonder if she’d smiled at all. But that was Rosie.

I meandered over towards the local section.There wasn’t a huge selection. A few self-published fictional books, some professionally published books. I saw the history book my dad had told me about by McLaughlin, a history professor at the college. I grabbed that. I remember dad mentioning something about a local lore book published at the school press, but I didn’t see it.

I turned around. Rosie was still at the counter, writing something down.

“Hey Rosie?”

“Yup?” She looked up.

“You got anything by Professor Jhonas from the college?”

“Oh yeah, that myth book. Um... I think someone checked it out a few days ago. Let me check if its been returned yet or not.” She typed something into the computer, nodded, turned around to sort through a row of books yet to be reshelved. I took a few steps back over to her, when she held a book up and exclaimed, “Got it!”

I hurried over, took with with my thanks, and headed to a table.

Jhonas’ book was very clearly not professionally done, as most books off the school press looked. The design was lacking. A black cover with the tiitle, “Local Lore: Miles, California,” “Dr. R. Jhonas” down at the bottom, and a dark image of a candle in the middle.

I looked through the index, found a bunch of urban legends I’d never heard of. They must not have been very popular, or she was just making them up. It wasn’t until about half way down the list that I saw what I was looking for.

Oaklawn Lane, First United Methodist Church, 1881-1943

That was it. I tore my way to the correct page, and was greeted by an old black and white image of the church itself. Numerous cars were parked by the church in the field of somewhat shorter grass than existed there now. People were smiling and waving by the front of the church. It must have been taken in the thirties. It was weird to see it then, back in its glory. Back before the roof decayed and the grass went to seed, before the paint chipped away and two exceedingly insane people for some reason stayed there.

I started to read the first paragraph, which began with when the church was built, by whom, but jumped pretty quickly to the year 1939.

“As all good legends do, this one begins in fact. In 1939, there was a girl in Miles by the name of Emily Faye. Emily was the daughter of Judge Rupert Faye, who had served the bench of Miles for nearly ten years. Emily was a smart girl, very prominant in the community. She had grown up knowing everyone, always under the wing of her father the Judge.

In the summer of 1939, when Emily was fourteen years old, the Judge was approached by a man named Alfred Hughes. Hughes was a lawyer who worked for the district attorney. A man in his thirties, Hughes had become obsessed with little Emily. He was convinced she would grow into a fine young woman, and eventually approached Judge Faye about her hand in marriage. The Judge was appalled, and turned Hughes away with a threat against his job if he ever so much as looked at Emily again.

We are told that Emily was at the local Methodist Church, though we are given no reasons for her being there. It was the middle of the week, and she seemed to have no business there at the time. Regardless, Hughes followed her there, took her inside, and violently raped her. Her body was found naked and mangled inside the church. Hughes was never seen again.

In an indepth search through newspapers of the time and interviews of Miles natives resulted no further information than this. The newspapers said very little of the violent murder, and the few natives I could get to talk about it were either children at the time, or knew little more than the papers had told them.

After the murder, we know that attendance at the church heartily declined. It lasted almost four entire years before it finally closed its doors for good.

As I knew it would happen, I then had to jump into the world of unsubstantiated claims.

It is well thought of that the building is haunted by the Emily Faye. Children tell stories of ghosts and dare one another to go inside.

‘Oh sure, we used to play that game, see who was the bravest,’ said Stanley Spike, the owner of the bike repair shop in town. ‘Tom Weste, why he was always willing to go right up to the door, see, but never went inside. One time, when we was playing at it late one night, why Tom and me, we went to that door and teased the other boys what weren’t so brave. Tom, he waved and taunted, but I went around the side to look in one of the windows. Why I swear,’ Stanley hesitated here, shaking his head, ‘Why I swear I saw her, Emily you know, looking right back out at me. Kinda pale, ghostly like. Eyes that beg you to hold her and kill her all at the same time. Mind that was just through stained glass, but seemed clear as day. Why Tom and me took off running and screaming, and them other boys, they was hot on our tails, too. But none of ‘em was scared as me. Cause see, I’d looked into those eyes. Those cold, dead eyes of that poor girl who died so long ago.’


I turned the page and found a picture of the girl, Emily Faye. The scare I’d had last night? Nothing compared to what I saw. I’m sure you’ve guessed, I don’t know why I hadn’t been expecting it. The picture in that book was someone who I knew by the name of Thi.

It was the same girl. Same hair, same way she smiled just a little with those tiny lips. Same innocence. The eyes were different though. These eyes in the book, they were bright and full of life. They were cold. Like the eyes that Stanley Spike had described. They weren’t like the eyes of Thi.

Day 11.

Dad reached over and sort of punched my shoulder. “Keep yourself out of trouble though, huh?”

He got up, and just as he stepped through my door, he looked back and said, “If you need to talk...”

“Thanks, Dad,” I said. I appreciated it. I did. If I was going to tell anyone it would have been him or Emilie.

I made up my mind to head to the library the next morning. Maybe I could find out what the hell was going on at that place.




“We’ve had some reports of activity at your site, Konstantine.”

“Its been taken care of, sirs. I filed a report, the issue is resolved.”

“Then you deny that one of the local residents approached the building.”

“I... not at all. I mean, he did, yes, but nothing happened. It was without incident.”

“Your charge hasn’t the best track record. You expect us to believe that a local came to the site, and she made no attempts to contact him?”

“Yes. As I said, there was no incident.”

“... Very well. You may leave. Oh. And Konstantine?”

“Yes?”

“You understand the reprecussions for submitting a falsified report, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Just so we’re clear. You’re excused.”

Door shuts.

“He is protecting his charge.”

“Assuming the other Watcher is telling the truth.”

“She has no reason to lie. We shoudl keep a closer eye on the situation.”

“And something must be done with the local.”

“We will send someone to deal with him.”

“Yes we will.”




I couldn’t sleep. I was dead tired, my eyes were burning and drooping, but everytime I tried to sleep I could only lie there and think about... things.

Namely Thi.

For about the fifth time, I crawled out from beneath the covers, my bare feet touching the cold wooden floors. I approached the window, stared out for a while. No dark figures tonight, no freakish bird. Just a clear sky, the moon giving what light it could to make the landscape glow.

As I was staring at the trees in the distance, I got that feeling you get when you’re just about to take a test you’re not prepared for. That anxious feeling that some call butterflies, but I call evil flesh eating moths fiercly slamming against your abdomen, ripping you apart from the inside out.

Or... something like that.

But it wasn’t a feeling that made me was to crawl under the blankets and wait for my doom to pass.

Day 9.

“You know I remember the summer after graduation. Came back here, too. We’ve got a lot in common, you and me. I was scared spitless to actually teach. See, I wanted to teach college, but I was just out of it myself, and couldn’t afford to go to school for my doctorate yet.”

“Yeah, I know this story, Dad,” I smiled.

“Just don’t get yourself down because things don’t seem to be going so hot,” he said as he readjusted his glasses. That sentence was a result of him spending far too much time with college students and not really being able to work the language. Or, at least not sounding like he knew how.

Neither of us said anything for a second, then I was suddenly struck with a brilliant thought. One of those brilliant thoughts that sound so amazing and clever before you say them, until you get it out, then you realize maybe it would have been smarter to shut up and not cause undue interest.

“You know anything about that old church at the end of the road?”

“Oh sure. Its been there since I was a kid. Hell I think its been there since my father was a kid.” He took off his glasses and looked at me. He did that sometimes when he wanted to look poignant or serious. It didn’t make any sense because he could see less than I could without glasses. I’m pretty sure he’s legally blind without them. Maybe even with them.

“You know anything about it though?”

Dad looked up at the ceiling, rubbed the back of his neck. He did that when he thought. Some people scratched their heads, some people narrowed their eyes, Dad rubbed the back of his neck.

Its like he was made for college students to good-naturedly poke fun at him.

“Well lets see... I think it was a Methodist church. I had a friend back when I was in grade school who used to go to it, but I seem to remember it being shut down soon after that.”

“Why?”

“Come to think of it... I never really knew. Didn’t you used to play then when you were a kid?”

“Yeah... You know where I can get any more information about it?”

“I do believe that Professor McLaughlin wrote a local history book a few years back. You know, the head of history department at the college. And... I seem to remember there being a local folk lore book published at the school press maybe ten years ago. Professor Jhonas from my department.

Day 8.

I didn’t know what to do. Was I supposed to start being old chums with the guy who had beat the crap out of me the day before?

“Yeah, he’s the friendly sort, isn’t he?” Kon said, crossing his arms again and staring up at the ceiling.

“He is very shy. Benjamin Faires, you should–”

“It’s just Benjamin,” I said, my voice as tight as my muscles.

“What?”

“You don’t have to say it all. Just Benjamin.”

“It isn’t Benjamin Faires?”

“Well, yeah, it is but–”

“Does that mean you are not on of the fairies?”

I raised a brow, Kon laughed. “What?”

“A fairy. Magical people. I remember your friends would call you ‘fairy.’ A long time ago when they came here to visit you.”

A lump grew in my throat. I knew what she was talking about. I couldn’t believe she was being serious, but I knew what she was talking about.

At first, when I was in elementary school, the other boys liked to call me fairy, because they thought it was girly and stupid, and close enough to my last name. But as we grew older, they found another term to associate it with. And throughout Junior High and High School, that was the only name they used.

“Faires!” They would stand at the edge of the clearing as I sat at the doors of the church. They would just stand there and yell. “Hey Fairy! Where’s your boyfriend, you fuckin’ fag?” They loved to tease me about one of the less popular kids at school, who it seemed only I would talk to. “You hiding him inside? This where you go to fuck him? Or did even Crumb dump your ass?”

God I hated them. I hated them so much. Every time I tried to tell myself I didn’t. But God how I hated them.

“Benajmin?” Her voice was so tentative, so mouselike, breaking me from my mind’s wandering. She touched my arm. “Are you okay?”

As I pulled out of my self-focused state, I realized I had let myself withdraw physically again, had let my face show what my mind was thinking. For a shy person, I tended to be very transparent.

“I am very sorry. I did not mean to make you upset.”

I shook my head. I hated that that jerk Kon was here for this. “Don’t worry about it.”

I then found out that this girl had no concept of saving a man’s pride. Without any hint of it, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. It was so entirely awkward for me, and Kon even groaned a little and looked away. But I had to admit it, there was something in me that felt soothed, relieved, comforted at her touch. It felt like when my mom held me after I’d fallen, or when my sister hugged me when they had made fun of me. It wasn’t the touch of romantic interest. It was innocent and pure and beautiful.

Finally she let go, but grabbed onto my hand. Lea used to do that when she was little. She used to latch on to my hand and follow me around everywhere. I was ten, but I loved it.

“Well this is bloody cheerful, but he’s gotta go,” Kon said.

“No, he can stay for a while,” Thi smiled, looking at me, them back at him. I tried not to laugh at her.

“Thi, this isn’t up for a vote.” Then he looked at me. “You gotta go.”

“Why?” Thi asked.

He let out of a bark of a sarcastic laugh. “Why? Because, like I already mentioned, if they found out that he’s here, I’ll get my balls chopped of, and you’ll get put to sleep.”

“Don’t be crude, Kon.” The tone in her voice told me she was trying to ignore his last comment.

“Damn it, Thi, don’t push me! I’ve been tolerant with you, I let a hell of a lot slide. But he’s been here too long! I’m already going to have to make some sort of report just to cover for his presence here. There’s no way they couldn’t have noticed something.” The more he talked, the more he seemed to be talking to himself rather than to her.

Thi let go of my hand, she stepped away. “But I don’t want to sleep again...”

“If you would just follow the rules–”

“I didn’t go outside! He came in!”

“That doesn’t matter!”

“You told me–”

“I didn’t think the idiot was be stupid enough to come in! He hadn’t before.”

Apparently I was fully not part of this conversation right now.

I was proven wrong by Kon looking at me. “You need to leave.”

Thi didn’t put up a fight this time. She just turned away and sat back down on the pew she had sat on earlier when I had upset her. I started towards the door, but as I passed Kon, he stopped me with a strong grip on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. You just need to know how dangerous it is for Thi to have you here.”

“For you, too, right?” I said as I pulled away. I kept walking, and just before I stepped out of the doors, I looked back. Kon hadn’t moved, he was just standing there, staring at Thi.

I left there a lot more confused than I had been yesterday.




“You’ve gotta stop this, Thi.”

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.

“Why do you always have to obsess over one human or another? He doesn’t care about you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“He’s just like the last one. Sooner or later, he’ll stop coming. I mean, this one hadn’t been here in ten years!”

“He came back. That is all that matters.

“He’ll move on.”

“Leave me alone, Kon.”

“Trust me. These humans, that’s what they do. They think something is wonderful at one moment, and then they get bored with it, they forget about it. I thought you already learned that.”

“Please leave me alone.”

“I’m just trying to help you.”

“Don’t touch me! Just leave me alone!”

“Sorry... I just... Thi, don’t be like that.”

“I just want to be alone.”

“You never want to be alone.”

“Then I don’t want to be with you!”

“I... alright... I’ll just... Thi, I’m sorry, but–”

“Go away!”

“...Fine. I’ll... see you tomorrow then...”




It was nearly eleven that night when Dad knocked at my open door. I looked up from the book I had been reading, sitting in the corner of my bed, which was nudged against the corner of the wall.

“Got a minute?” He asked. I shrugged, closed my book. He sat on the bed, scooted himself back until his back also rested against the wall.

It was kind of a relief to be talking with a guy. Guys understood that you don’t need to have eye contact to have a conversation. You can sit side by side and stare straight ahead and have a perfectly decent talk.

Women didn’t quite get that.

Dad was also someone who was really easy to talk to. People just liked him on general principles. He was tallish, a trait I hadn’t inherited, and his brownish-auburn hair had been greying since he was fifteen, a trait I had. Every wrinkle on his face, which weren’t profuse, was proof of a face that smiled far too much. There wasn’t a line of worry on it. He was easy going, and could get along with (or at least tolerate) nearly every personality type.

He was a professor at the local community college. Taught English. He looked the part, too. Always wore some sort of khaki’s, sweater vests over wrinkled collared shirts. His rectaingular glasses aided his extraordinarily poor eyesight, when he wore them. As he got older he seemed to wear them less and less, and misplace them more and more.

“Your mom says you’ve been acting weird lately,” he said after a moment.

“Just... you know, trying to get into the swing of things.”